I am not against to the author in this edited art craft when I say that this picture was very offensive. I find the author’s idea witty and smart. In fact, it tickles my funny bones and can’t help but laugh out loud in just a while. But what actually comes to my mind seeing this was a harsh joke poked upon to its subject matter. And heck, I toyed when I posted it here once again so the world may see.
... Hypocrite. ... ^_^
I still can’t and I dare not to try it yet.
A lot of people surrounds me has one thing to say “mag-solo ka na, hindi ka na bata”. A pressure I am facing right now. Sa mga cousins ko, friends at work and mismo my kuya has always reminding me or rather repeating this phrase I ignores.
Ako, magso-solo? No way, kahit na nasa tamang age na ako and even other would says overage na ako to rely on myself naman.
Natatakot pa po ako.
“Ano bang ikinakatakot mo, e may stable job ka naman to sustain you in your daily living?"
“You’re grown up and lalaki ka naman.”
“Kailangan mong matutunang mag-survive mag-isa.”
“Paano ka makakabuo ng pamilya mo alone in the near future, e ngayon pa lang hindi mo sinasanay ang self mo.”
Enough said!
Paulit-ulit mang sabihin nila sa akin ito, I will stick to my instinct that I cannot make it pa. I have many fears that I haven’t overcome yet. A personal reasons of fears I am keeping most in myself. Even to speak up these to someone whom I trusted most and understands me somehow my nanay, I would not reveal it to her. This wouldn’t help I know.
So please, give me more time to handle this. Let me piece by piece defeat these fears in my heart as I am trying to. I know naman that there will come a time for me na mapaglalabanan kong lahat ito. I will stand on my own and you will see.
(Up to now, nakatira pa rin ako sa kuya ko. In his house kasi, were full of appliances. Entertainment appliances aside, I rely most of the time using his rice cooker, refrigerator, and washing machine. Nasanay ako, so I couldn’t imagine yet one day I wake up in the morning that these things were out of reach ko na. Kumusta naman ‘yun, it is hard for me to accept pa.
Many times talaga ang kapal ng mukha ko. I am not pabigat naman to my kuya as I shoulder my own expenses in clothing and foods, still nga lang hinder pa rin ako with his fiancée to be together alone. He though never commanded me to leave them but I do give respect in voluntarily exiting myself for their moment. I try not to give him more headaches as I used to before para hindi ako mapalayas nang bigla-bigla. After all, he’s so mabait pa rin for me.)
And back to reality, I still can’t make it living alone no matter what you say. So all you concerns for me, I say thank you with all my heart. For believing in my capacity that I can make it through, but only time will tell and that all you wait.
I will emerge in this world - ALONE.
This I promise.
