Thursday, November 6, 2008

In Preparation

The rumor has it (circulated or not yet at all). Concerned employees of SENCOR, aware!

Everybody should prepare for this worst case scenario - a change of workplace. Though I'm still confirming it and was under investigation of my own sources. I was indeed excited to leak it out this so-called highly-under-observation/meeting of our Company’s heads and headless (I mean, sir and ma’am to point out).

Is it true that the SENCOR is going back its old office in Pasay City? Yes, you’re reading skill and understanding was right. We are going back to the old rag rotten building along Taft Avenue in Pasay City. The lone building we once occupied and haunted us (everybody has a paranormal experienced). Not to mention that the cockroaches-like odor we breathe in was a day/nightmare. I wonder I did last there (thanks to the power of multivitamins, I was immune to the surrounding).

According to my liable source and was a good friend of mine too who worked separately from me (group department speaking - she was a data analyst in co-sourcing department). She has as well learned it from her very liable source nearly worked closest to our administrative office in the 10th floor. That, because of the costly rent the Insular Life Building has priced. It was a resounding 1 million pesos per floor and we occupied 9th and 10th floors respectively. The budget officers of SENCOR were not anymore or able to fund for it. Therefore, the bosses’ decision has been cleared out that in order to save the firm’s operations and businesses. Relocation is the answer and that the option was to get back in its old office. The said transfer might start February next year (a month of expiration for its lease of contract) and no more renewal of contract to be done.

I've hinted it! (SENCOR is affected by this global financial crisis stuff)

This is most probably to happen and I am pretty sure that the truth of it will come out due next year of January. So, stay alert and be prepared.

Friday, October 24, 2008

ME na ME

Lately, I have found an article posted on net that I can really relate to it. I would love to read it out loud for sure. It all said well. It tells about one of the many personalities I have that helped me stands out among the rest. For you to know, I am a one proud self-confessed "bad guy" at work. Yes, I was it. "Bad Guy" at Work.

I guess, nobody would mistakenly find out who was the “bad guy” in our group. If so happened? Thank God, that he/she is an outsider. It totally shocked me up to now that I never got hard building my name. I got earned popularity in no hard times. And there is no trick gaining it at all, promise. I simply mended petty rules orderly enforced. It was just an easy for a naturally “born to rebel” like me.

Well, I do not require somebody else though to do what I did. I would have then a shared folk in stardom. I could even lose the title that suitably marked in me. I won’t let it to happen.

Although, there are some pros and cons being a “bad guy” that messed me up. I have been on the watch list all the time from these green-eyed monsters. I would safely play my moves once they’re around. And no matter how idle I was for them to be grouped in any work, I still managed to excel as teammate. I can sure to prove it. And believe me or not, I have friends still. Imagine? You could only count them though in your fingers. But who cares anyway. These were only the people at work who does believed in me somehow that I was indeed a "good guy". Really! That’s how lucky I was to have them but unfortunately unlucky for them they had me.

Tuesday, October 7, 2008

Quote for today…

I’ve been quite receiving lots of practical quotes through text messaging. And maybe I got used to it, every time I read one I take it earnestly. It somehow reflected in my daily living. Here is one:

you must
always follow
your HEART…



not your
MIND…



because
there’s
a saying…



NEVER MIND…

(ang lalim no?)

hahaha. I nearly fell off my chair laughing at it. I know it’s so corny. But you see it made my day. Life less serious, I know. And why not adopt this quote just for today, huh? It won’t hurt.

---------------------------------
paging Ms. Karen (kulotski)

Monday, October 6, 2008

Level up? What is up to got it.

Recently, five folks got promoted or had stepped-up the ladder (Researcher - Level 3). One in our shift and the other four were from the morning shift. But among the five, two were denial while the others were confirmed and their proud. From the bottom of my heart, congratulations you deserve it. And thank you for the foods we shared. How they got it? Well, they did simply by topping all the criteria given. And now, if you may ask me in what criteria does a greater point allocated to become a candidate?

Here are my assumptions:

Skills and versatility in any project rounds up 20%
(performance ang pinag-uusapan dito ‘bro. error free and in every task code you must excel well. pakatatandaan na kahit anong galing mo sa mga projects that you got involved in it’s successes hindi ka ipi-praise or iti-thank you man lang, ok lang ‘yun may 20 points ka naman)

Attendance and punctuality rounds up 20%
(strictly no lates, absences and overtime is a must para makahabol ng production for early shipment. no rest day pa kaya naman pati sunday may pasok din, ‘bro, sinisigurado ko malalagpasan mo ang quota na given sa ’yo may 20 points ka na ulit)

Congeniality rounds up 10%
(pakikisama sa mga officemates. no wonder perfect 10 points ka dito because you have circle of friends in any types. be it quite types, pasaway types, workaholic types, in almost any types of people in ka)

All these, you can get a total of 50 percent points with flying colors but, here is the challenge. You must have to get the remaining 50 percent with ease.

A greater point allocated mostly in your right attitude to your superiors.
(plastic ang magic word dito, ‘yung tipong may good rapport kayo in and out sa office ng mga superiors mo. personalan ang labanan dito ‘bro, palakasan kaya naman dapat natural sa ‘yo ang pagiging plastic, good luck sa ‘yo)

Among the four criteria, I must say that I am confident I can top all the first three but not in the latter. This is somehow I lack and be counted or listed next in line with these newly promoted folks. There is a great responsibility that awaits you and so does a challenge to take. Sounds great really but so what? I don’t give a damn care. I am happy stuck up to Level 2 rather than go up a notch while my ego has been put down. I regret not having rift always in between them. I do believe I need to uphold my pride. All the times, I devoted my time and dedication to work but never got noticed. It doesn’t matter to them, really.

For now, put on a brave face into their challenge (I don't think I will).

Thursday, September 18, 2008

An error report

HARSH COMMENT:

After a thorough study, I've found out that repeatable errors such as proper use of period (must end/does not end) need no excused to be criticized. And major errors omitted by researchers such as: proper positioning of tag files; deletion of existing tag; overlooked data and a must fill tag got ignored. Authors of these craps are most likely delightful to drop off from the project. An immediate action of corrections is extremely needed.

Not to mention that, encountered all these common mistakes habitually caused headaches or migraines to the corrector.

Therefore, I highly recommend that these fellows should have a rigorous review of our guidelines, documents and the like. This will enhance their understanding and capability.

Looking forward to a very smooth flow in processing all this, Ronn your humble servant.

Joke, joke, joke... peace! NO, seriously I'm BURN OUT!

(reactions are welcome)

Wednesday, September 3, 2008

I just can’t help it

In relation to the so-called revenue enhancement, the minimum wage earner is tax free. This was in accord to the newly passed bill authored mainly by the honorable senator Mar Roxas (Manuel Araneta Roxas, II is his real name).

Henceforth, our then co-workmates who’s under probationary employee status will sure count on equally their basic pay. These without of course lessen even a single centavo for payment in their hard labors.

But only for a shortest period of time because starting this September their about to give some slice of their earnings again.

Catchy?

Well, just recently some of our supervisors called in for a closed meeting to these probationary employees. Held in the board room for seclusion of the highly confidential matter been discussed. Just adjacent to the briefing room where in the forum might be apparent to the passers by. Their agenda tackled tardiness and absences. And some reminders like; status of production is highly monitored; foods and any beverages uncovered are not allowed in one’s desk; texting while working is considered to memorandum of suspension, etc. They almost covered everything all under the company’s rules, policies and regulation. In short a general meeting.

Hahaha.

Laugh off because the real score is, these minimum wage earner got the “I”. Yes, you’re thinking is right. The “increase in salary” we regular employees never to got ever. And that our contribution to SSS was still yet not remitted. Shit! Damn it, move it move it and shake it. Shit!

Oh no! Not again, I just said it! Secret daw pala yun…

‘nyeta!

Wednesday, August 27, 2008

comment box

When I posted some of my thoughts and assumed to receive some comments in it from my readers (if there are anyone reads). I got fooled. Now, I better not to expect praises or criticisms to read on it but instead of confabulation.

Tama ba namang i-deviates ang comment box into a chat room? Huh? Well, these gals just did and take it for granted!

------------------------------
mayan said...
naman joy!pabasa naman ng blog mu..hehhemayan

sebastianne said...
marriane! i-link mo ako sa blog mo, ang daya mo.

sebastianne said...
joy, i-open mo na naman blog mo, ang daya nito.

yoj said...
wohh!! sebastianne hu? pkilala k nman.

existential blues said...
I'm coming out clean. AKO si Sebastianne, hehehe!
------------------------------

Anyhow, I don’t get mad. It just been proven after all that there is no big mountain high to flatten. For these gals, it is humanly possible to happen just to get in touch with each others. I think I did the right thing here. Thru this I bridged up the different parties that were almost lost in touch. Don’t worry for it is okay with me no matter how you take my comment box. I even have to thank you all for spending some time though. So go on, be free to post here of anything. With this blog as our means of communication, stops us no one in getting in touch. I missed you all.

Friday, August 1, 2008

Crossed Eye

I supposed not to mind people around me watching all my acts. They annoy me much. But even though I supposed to get used to it because they were part of my environment, still the feeling of being supervised freaks me out. I cannot stay up this any longer.

No matter how I tried tempered myself. Extended much enough my patience towards them. And hoping I can mislead them in staring back has still no qualm effect. It even gives them an invitation to open up some talk that I avoid to. Their magnifying lenses keep lingering on in me. How in the world these people don’t even understand my untoward behavior showed to them. Avoiding them in keeping mum and exchanging glimpse don’t seems bother them at all. They just keep on going.

Irk, I can’t get enough privacy doing my own thing.

So please excuse me. Will you stop crossing your sight from your desk into mine? What the hell were you thinking, huh? That I am not responding much good towards my job? Or that I am losing much time attending to some other things besides my work? Will you going to benefit something from me watching over? I bet no. Hey you fellows, you have some as well business to mind for. Spare me.

I know what I am doing. I have equally divided my time for all the things I want to do in a day. I have managed it for quite some times. And never had I left my work undone. Don’t tell me I have to explain this all to you? Because I now just did, damn. You were not my mother, my father, my brother, my sister or my mentor. Not even my immediate supervisor to care for. You’re one step down from me - employee status speaking. Come to think of it for you have no right to compare yourselves from me.

Stop using your swivel chair wandering from here up to there, please? That too as well bothers me. Mind you if I tell to rather focus your attention to your head like shape monitor instead of me? It’ll be going to blown up anytime now. Aren’t you aware of that? I hate you! Quit looking at me because you really freak me out!

(Somebody calm me down. My blood pressure is continuously rising up, up and up.)

You’re fucking shit!

Friday, July 25, 2008

Sites Filtered

Websites that you can no longer access in the office:



Friendster


Myspace



Youtube


And the latest,

Yahoo

WTF! I do understand the above sites being restricted. No question about that. It has no concern in any way to the nature of our work. And now even www.yahoo.com has no escape for sites filtering. I do fear one day my online philippine star, forum in pinoy exchange, and this blog were no longer accessible. I can’t think of anything worst when these thing happens as well.

Waaaaaaaaaaaahhh!

Waaaaaaaaaaaahhh!

Waaaaaaaaaaaahhh!

Wednesday, July 23, 2008

A not so sealed lips

These past few days I’ve been quite keeping a secret of something fishy. A somehow a juicy issue to feast for everybody. I have accessed someone’s blog (sorry for intruding your posted thoughts dude). Browsing the archives of posts, I happened to stumbled one interesting topic and read it. A crap full of hateful insights linked to someone unknown his still angst (about their feud). The tone of it all sounds bitter. Learning it, I knew this will lead to another word war that once mellowed. All days long nobody noticed my hidden ammunition until the next days. Playing safe that I may the last person to know the story once it broke was wrong. I was indeed caught in my act and can’t help but spill the beans. Sigh.

Well, I tell you now.

It has something connection to the recently concluded finished business of the two colliding mammals. So you thought it's over? Nah. I have missed the confrontation in between them though. But how I wished it lead far beyond my perception (I am bad I know). A worsen situation that can put these two creatures into a bloody fight. If only not ruined. Thanks but no thanks to the mediator who meddled in (you’re one “kill joy” of my supposed sweet fight scene in vision, hahaha.) She never wanted see her pets clashing teeth to teeth for their both precious to her. I understand, Ayt!

Now, if you try finding who did start with it? Surely am I, you’ll be surprised no more of who was this mammal starred in my story. A very controversial creature that happened to pissed off fine ladies in my history of knowledge. In his own way, blogging an idiot in silly words (mind if the moron understands). Inching word to word of insults that can degrades ones ego. You’ll be sorry if you’re one skinned onion animal (as he percepts). I never imagined before that one quite tamed beast like him can do hurt to opposite sex (specially). But then, he did. Nevertheless he knew that he had caused heartaches and sorrows, especially to a bubbly girl.

And later this time, he did attacked fellow and make sure entered a mess.

He was boy wonder. Some may praise him and some may piss off. But most of the time everybody loves him (I sounds insecure but it’s true). Either way, this creature is a genius rant that uses his charmed brain in expressing his troublesome thoughts. Care no less if he inflicts pain to other sensitive folks around him (as I said). I do admire his words of wisdom though and believed his talent had brings him up a notch in our group in the shortest time (and the latest was, he was transferred to some other groups of geniuses). Kudos to his alma mater for instilling him the best education I was once and still crave.

The other party was, let say my smoke puffing buddy during break times. A one quite man as well and a fighter at hand. In fairness to him, he knows how to befriend and easy to get along with. I wonder if he never fights back again. With all the explanation he did before in defending his subordinates. He can do better to reason out “professionalism issue” this time for it was all him targeted by boy wonder (ouch).

However, at this moment - this whole crap thing I had grasped has not yet reached into both camps. Their both opinionated thoughts are worth to wait. I dare say watch out folks where until it ends. I now wash up my both hands and handle to you the truth of it all (a Pontious Pilate act, hahaha). Spread it if you want and let the word war begin. As we all know, we all love talking this over and over again. It lightens us up, right? I am only saddened the fact that this factoid I try keeping most in my own wasn’t a secret no more. For it slipped in my tongue. Damn.

Sunday, July 20, 2008

Time Will Tell

(Just got this morning an e-mailed short story from a good friend of mine named Precious - thanks to you my dear.)


Time Will Tell

Once upon a time there was an island where all the feelings lived; Happiness, Sadness, Knowledge, and all the others, including Love.

One day it was announced to all of the feelings that the island was going to sink to the bottom of the ocean. So all the feelings prepared their boats to leave. Love was the only one that stayed. She wanted to preserve the island paradise until the last possible moment. When the island was almost totally under, Love decided it was time to leave. She began looking for someone to ask for help.

Just then Richness was passing by in a grand boat. Love asked, "Richness, Can I come with you on your boat?"
Richness answered, " I'm sorry, but there is a lot of silver and gold on my boat and there would be no room for you anywhere."

Then Love decided to ask Vanity for help who was passing in a beautiful vessel. Love cried out, "Vanity, help me please."
"I can't help you", Vanity said, "You are all wet and will damage my beautiful boat."

Next, Love saw Sadness passing by. Love said, "Sadness, please let me go with you."
Sadness answered, "Love, I'm sorry, but, I just need to be alone now."

Then, Love saw Happiness. Love cried out, " Happiness, please take me with you."
But Happiness was so overjoyed that he didn't hear Love calling to him.

Love began to cry. Then, she heard a voice say, "Come Love, I will take you with me." It was an elder. Love felt so blessed and overjoyed that she forgot to ask the elder his name. When they arrived on land the elder went on his way. Love realized how much she owed the elder.

Love then found Knowledge and asked, "Who was it that helped me?"
"It was Time", Knowledge answered.
"But why did Time help me when no one else would?", Love asked.
Knowledge smiled and with deep wisdom and sincerity, answered,
"Because only Time is capable of understanding how great Love is."


(aaahhh it's BYUTIPOL, that all i can say.)

Tuesday, June 17, 2008

Ploning?

I am not against to the author in this edited art craft when I say that this picture was very offensive. I find the author’s idea witty and smart. In fact, it tickles my funny bones and can’t help but laugh out loud in just a while. But what actually comes to my mind seeing this was a harsh joke poked upon to its subject matter. And heck, I toyed when I posted it here once again so the world may see.

... Hypocrite. ... ^_^

Saturday, June 14, 2008

Living ALONE

I still can’t and I dare not to try it yet.

A lot of people surrounds me has one thing to say “mag-solo ka na, hindi ka na bata”. A pressure I am facing right now. Sa mga cousins ko, friends at work and mismo my kuya has always reminding me or rather repeating this phrase I ignores.

Ako, magso-solo? No way, kahit na nasa tamang age na ako and even other would says overage na ako to rely on myself naman.

Natatakot pa po ako.

“Ano bang ikinakatakot mo, e may stable job ka naman to sustain you in your daily living?"

“You’re grown up and lalaki ka naman.”

“Kailangan mong matutunang mag-survive mag-isa.”

“Paano ka makakabuo ng pamilya mo alone in the near future, e ngayon pa lang hindi mo sinasanay ang self mo.”

Enough said!

Paulit-ulit mang sabihin nila sa akin ito, I will stick to my instinct that I cannot make it pa. I have many fears that I haven’t overcome yet. A personal reasons of fears I am keeping most in myself. Even to speak up these to someone whom I trusted most and understands me somehow my nanay, I would not reveal it to her. This wouldn’t help I know.

So please, give me more time to handle this. Let me piece by piece defeat these fears in my heart as I am trying to. I know naman that there will come a time for me na mapaglalabanan kong lahat ito. I will stand on my own and you will see.

(Up to now, nakatira pa rin ako sa kuya ko. In his house kasi, were full of appliances. Entertainment appliances aside, I rely most of the time using his rice cooker, refrigerator, and washing machine. Nasanay ako, so I couldn’t imagine yet one day I wake up in the morning that these things were out of reach ko na. Kumusta naman ‘yun, it is hard for me to accept pa.

Many times talaga ang kapal ng mukha ko. I am not pabigat naman to my kuya as I shoulder my own expenses in clothing and foods, still nga lang hinder pa rin ako with his fiancée to be together alone. He though never commanded me to leave them but I do give respect in voluntarily exiting myself for their moment. I try not to give him more headaches as I used to before para hindi ako mapalayas nang bigla-bigla. After all, he’s so mabait pa rin for me.)

And back to reality, I still can’t make it living alone no matter what you say. So all you concerns for me, I say thank you with all my heart. For believing in my capacity that I can make it through, but only time will tell and that all you wait.

I will emerge in this world - ALONE.

This I promise.

Friday, May 30, 2008

80 words that won the National Spelling Bee

Go, find out for yourself.

Just click on this link Words and you'll see what are these words that won.

...

Friday, April 25, 2008

Head LOST?

in Loreland Farm Resort (time to go home!)

Take a closer look at this picture, at first it might looks like an ordinary photo shot but definitely not. I find something wrong because one of our companions had lost her head.

Was it real? Where did her head go?

Well, nothing to scare for after all. We thoroughly scanned it and we ended up this conclusion.

We've found out that her head was just hidden in that jutted huge trunk. Thank goodness.

(From left: Malyn in shades and she is ready to go, Mayan in yellow shirt obviously promoting a peace sign, Rochelle in white shirt looking for some drinking water to fill her empty bottle, behind me is Juliet picking up some of her things, and Precious with her head still attached to her body for sure, hehehe).

Sunday, March 30, 2008

It is my Birth Month

Jesus! A month of March is going to end and I never post yet a story, pictures or anything to update my blogsite. There are so many topics to talk about but I guess I’m just too busy to work on it. Aside from work, I am more glued into my Friendster account. Checking it quite often rather than posting the many events happened in my everyday living.
First of the week, I together with my co-workmates did have a great bonding in the pool. A night swimming to remember we held in Lake Villa resort in Binangonan, Rizal. There and then I wore my swimming trunks that draws attention to everybody. Maybe their not used to it seeing me in a daring suit (hahaha) but least they know I am more comfortable wearing it. We all joined in one huge cottage enough us to shed from rain and shared all the foods, drinks and talks. Most of the time my buddies were all awake except me where I find a resting place later to sleep. I barely slept tight though because mosquitoes were rampant. You can see the fish pond lake besides the area to where mosquitoes breed. I have no escape from bites that I find my legs in my morning itchier and scratching it until I got home.
During the holy week, I together with my cousins did a walkathon from home in Makati to Antipolo church. It’s rewarding. A devotion my parents did told us to participate as a Catholic/Christian. Once again they reminded us to sacrifice as Jesus did through fasting and praying. As much as possible we must avoid committing all the necessary measures of sins during its holy week. Respect Christ the Lord. I did comply merely by praying but not in fasting. Jesus, I don’t want to get starve for the whole week (sorry but I have to eat a lot specially this time that my goal is to gain weight for three months straight). I just started it February and to achieve it I must not skip a single day of it. Forgive me though.
And then this last week I have to come to realized that I am not getting any younger anymore. I just turned 26 years old exactly on March 28. I was poured of greetings through text messages and calls by friends, workmates, relatives and loved ones. I thank you all. I felt special even just a single day.

Wednesday, February 13, 2008

Valentine’s Day is approaching, where’s Cupid?


Oh no! That, stupid little thing is dead...

Saturday, February 9, 2008

One night of Exhaustion

I have convenience of travel ways from home to work and way back because it only took three rides for me. Prior to my time in (2 p.m. to 10 p.m. work), I can leave the house thirty minutes before.

First, a tricycle from home to Staff House in 3 minutes, second a jeepney from Market-Market to Edsa-Ayala in 12 minutes and lastly, another jeepney from Edsa-Ayala to Cartimar in 8 minutes (traffic-free). It travels along Ayala Avenue and I stops in unloading area right after Paseo de Roxas Street (I allotted the remaining minutes riding jeepney along Ayala Avenue because the traffic there was unpredictable). Then takes thirty steps walk to get into Insular Life Building - to where my workplace or rather my employer where located in its 9th and 10th floors respectively. To sum it all, I can get into my destination in about less than 30 minutes. Hassle free ang commutes ko, kaya naman no worries. I have time pa to lit one stick of Marlboro Lights cigarette before proceeding to work.

No doubt, I have more energy saved and high level of alertness compared to my co-employee pagdating na sa work. But what the heck when I am going back home na, because there and then my stupidity comes out. Tatanga-tanga. Reasonably, haggard na ako, pagod na and sleepy kaya nagkaka-memory gap. It is tiring din kaya na naka-seat ka lang sa swivel chair and faces your computer the whole dumb day. Visits all these websites for some data to gather or collects, do this; do that and everything in my computer alone – duh. Researching data as it seems for short. Pero nga, ang katangahan ko aydi ko maiwasan. Blush.

Kahapon Friday ng gabi, muntikan ba naman sana akong maglakad from Edsa-Ayala passing through McKinley Road in Forbes Park and cross the entire Global City in Taguig before reaching Staff House in C5. Just to imagine, it is too far to walk through because the roadway lengthens about four kilometers or so. Para naman na akong nag-walkathon niyan. And it’s not that it threatens me danger or I’ve felt scared to walk all alone at night because the roadway was all bright that comes from its post lamps. Preferably, the whole vicinity was safe. Peronga lang mapapagod talaga ako lalo sa paglalakad. I’d love to walk but not in this odd circumstance.

Stupid, I have left my coin purse pala in the jeepney pa. I was really in a hurry noon kaya ayan nagkalimot-limot ako sa belonging ko. After I paid my fare to the driver, I hold my coin purse in both hands. Since the jeepney was loaded, hindi ko agad maibalik sa back pocket ng pants ko dahil baka maka-siko ako ng katabi. I waited patiently until all the passengers may step down pagdating ng Edsa. That time I can keep it back na. But never did I – my mistakes, instead I just put aside it merely besides me. I feel confident enough that no one will grab it since wala na ngang passenger in my row.

In the other bench I barely sighted a lone passenger na kasama ko sa jeepney but she is afar from me. She maybe in her mid-30’s and nakaupo siya sa likod ng driver. What draws my attention na was when I received a text message, I read it and unknowingly malapit na rin pala akong bumaba. Tatawid na lang kasi iyun ng Edsa. Right after the jeepney stops, I looked up the area and it was my destination na nga - jeepney terminal ng Edsa-Ayala to Market-Market. Mapupuno na sa haba ng pila and soon it will go. Hurriedly, I stepped down and walked through the long line of passengers to meet with the end. Doon ko na nakalimutan ang coin purse ko at naiwan sa upuan.

Tamang-tama naman naniningil na ang barker (nagtatawag ng pasahero) sa akin. I slowly slipped my left hand to my pocket reaching a nothing-at-all-there coin purse ko. I used my other hand to tap the other back pocket in my right and wala rin doon. I started to get panic sana, hindi ko pa naman dala ang wallet ko to get extra pamasahe. Kakaubos lang ng load kaya hindi rin ako makakapag-text message man lang. Nothing at all, akmang tatakbo na ako pabalik sa jeepney na sinakyan ko from Ayala Avenue. But the lady in her mid-30’s whom I have accompanied in the jeepney was approaching na to where I stands. Medyo madilim but I can see her face smiling and extended her hand with my coin purse on it. I was relieved with a shame feeling (she is the angel who saves me from disgrace). I accepted it and said thank you to the lady. And for gratitude into her good deeds, I quickly get coins to pay fare for two persons na sa barker because we both are going to Staff House in C5. Thank you, lady.

Inside the jeepney, I never used to sleep for awhile that supposedly I did every time I traveled but never was I to do it. I was mesmerizing instead the possibilities of doing something to my disgrace. Perhaps, if not with that lady, I will take a long walk to get home or maybe used to make palimos sa ibang tao doon. Nakakahiyang gawin iyun kasi I am very obvious na galing pa ako sa work in my suit and mamalimos lang ako for my pamasahe way back home (what the fuck!). I said to myself, I will do it talaga if ever maka-uwi lang ng house. Tawagin na akong tanga and I’ll accept it wholeheartedly. Going through and through the road, I kept on mumbling alone in disgust. I cannot even look directly into the eyes of the lady though she smiles at me. And I guessed everybody took noticed my unlikely behavior inside the jeepney. Who cares, siguro naman they will understand me if I narrates it to them. I even think of trading my cellphone number sana for about twenty pesos pamasahe (at para namang may bibili ng digits ko, ano? pakialam nila diba?). Risky move but I have to.

Gosh. The whole biyahe for me was heavy na para ba akong na-stuck sa traffic. I have felt the burden and stressed out. Kulang na lang pagpawisan ako pero hindi because the weather is cold. It seems I’ve traveled from Manila to Cavite na ganoon kalayo. Pagdating sa bahay lugtong-lugto ako. Exhausted.

Tuesday, January 29, 2008

word for today...

saan ko nga ba narinig 'to?

Monday, January 28, 2008

Beer, is there more?

Hiks!

It’s been six straight days now that I am intoxicated and the feeling is great. Man, solved. Imagine? One more day and it is going to be a whole week of satisfaction. And for me, hang-over wasn’t a problem to deal with. I have managed it for good since I was in college. The funny thing is it was a different week for me this time because I never escaped a single day not drunken. And never had I spent even a single centavo for it - it was all free. Oh, I just love beer.

Tuesday:
Umuwi si Ate Jen sa house nila dito sa Makati to visit her nephews and my pamangkin na rin sa pinsan. I seldom see her because she temporarily resides in Taguig. To where she rented a boarding house nears her workplace. Late evening, she visited me at home and nagpa-inom siya ng isang grandeng San Miguel beer. Solo ko dahil she never drink.

Wednesday:
When Ate Shy gladly opens up to us that she is going to Baguio with her bestfriend Marilou. Her pamasahe was courtesy pa of her "bez" itself as she called. Tintin and I used to uto her “Wow, magbabakasyon ng three days” we said, “masaya ‘yun magpa-inom ka naman”. And she did, dalawang grande ng Redhorse.

Thursday:
I learned that Kuya Emer won a not so huge amount in cara cruz. I approached him asking balato kahit 100 pesos lang. He refused to give me money though. Instead he said, “mag-inom na lang tayo nila Kuya Erwin mo, Enan, Tito Orlan and Nanay Laida”. Naubos namin ang isang case ng Redhorse grande.

Friday:
Nakita ko ang kumpare kong si Julius a.k.a. “although” sa labas ng bahay nila. Ako nagbansag sa kanya ng “although” kasi he uses it quite often kapag kausap ka niya, pa-sosyal effect ba. Tamang kumustahan lang and later napasarap ang kuwentuhan, ayan he bought two Redhorse in grande form and sinagot ko naman ang pulutan na chicharong baboy galing sa bahay.

Saturday:
My elder brother Manoy Rey early celebrated his 28th birthday. Ang dami niyang guests sa house compared last year. Wala si Ate Miemie his girlfriend because nasa Leyte pa and kinabukasan pa ang scheduled flight back to Manila. Lahat officemate niya lang kaya umakyat na lang ako sa roof top and doon ako uminom ng SanMig Light beer together with Ate Cathy.

Sunday:
Gerald my friend texted me na attend daw siya ng birthday ng kaibigan naman niyang named Joven. He wants me to accompany him since hindi siya umiinom ng Colt 45 beer. Ako na lang daw ang sasalo ng tagay niya. Sure I said without second thought man lang, inuman and kainan yata iyun.

And today, Monday:
Ewan ko lang ha kung may invitation pa ako from anyone out there. Pero kung wala naman, siguro iinumin ko na lang ang SanMig Strong Ice beer ko na in-can sa refrigerator namin.

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Salamat nga pala sa mga nagpa-inom, I highly appreciated your generosity and kindness, sana may next time pa (smile).

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Happy Birthday Manoy Rey (today January 28). Wishing you all the luck and good health the world may offers.

Thank you for being such a good brother and a friend, always at it seems.

Sunday, January 20, 2008

Perfect Murderer

How to be one by profession? I’ve no idea. I guess it could all be done; there you have a lonesome victim target, plotted scene, clueless evidences made, killing experiences from childhood, and among others.

I wonder now, what if I did take this route of brutality in my life. As a kid I have these memories of doing evil things in my hometown province - Las Navas, Northern Samar. And I just realized by now that my acts were all ferocious, ruthless, cruel, relentless and merciless to add up. I regret not I did these all for it delights me after having so. Sa sobrang dami nga I could lost in counting, though I can name some few of them and here are the fondest.

1)
Hunted and killed ducklings from our neighbor

Aren’t they adorable? Of course they do, from their color, tiny chirp, slow and graceful walk to their innocence in their surroundings was totally a whole package of a living stuff toy. And oh, did I mention cuddly? Perfect, ganun sila ka-cute and sa sobrang fascination ko napapatay ko sila. I used to corner my prey in our backyard using a stick wood and directing them to foods I prepared. Shooing the mother duck in the other hand and alas, I have a plaything. Yeheey! Killing them later sends me ecstasy of fulfillment that I cannot explain.

2)
Tortured stray kitten by throwing it into the river over and over again

Meow, meow, meow, oh what a music to my ears. That tiny voice quite often recited by a kitten was sure am I that it has lost its protection from his mother. What a joke, I never get tired of planning how to catch him though. He just popped up from nowhere and eventually his now mine. Yeheey! Whoosh splash! Oh my god! That kitten knows how to swim. How cute naman and he manages pa to survive. But no, I would not allow him to get back on land. This time I will used my full force to throw him far and make sure he’d reached to the flowing river of death.

3)
Smashed cat to death with a bolo knife

It was all planned that I’m going to kill that stupid cat from our neighbor once she got back wandering in our kitchen. Humanda siya, I promised. That mother fucking cat was totally a mess to my sight. Not to mention that; she let my dog ran out of fear from her because of her fiery face she possessed; that she did hit our fried fish on the table one quite evening; and that she leaves her stingy foot marks on the floor with mud. She’s an intruder after all. And all of this was enough reason for me to crush her bone and leaves her breathless. There and then my notion had changed that the cat has nine lives? It’s all false, because instantly, she’s dead.

4)
Slayed common toads with hard rocks

Take a closer look at them, yuck kadiri! Para silang phlegm, what? You sometimes see them on mud swimming to where they laid their tadpoles and eggs. Well, at least in a fairytale this frog could turn into a charming prince daw if a girl kisses to it. Sorry gals, but I have killed them with rocks and left them motionless because of a hard stone atop their body. You could all blame me perhaps that one of them might be your long, long awaited prince sana.

And finally, this might not be part of my killing expertise, but it would be a part somehow in a perfect crime. Burning evidences that I may leave behind.

5)
Burned playhouse of my playmate

You didn’t invite me to join? Beware because I’ll take revenge. Sige lang magluto-lutuan lang kayo diyan and magtulog-tulugan as i mumbled. I would stand back to their playhouse full of jealousy. They would remind me that being at young age was no qualified to join their game and fun. I said, okay. I’ve waited time until they wouldn’t notice me having a move. First, I would splash kerosene on their Nipa roof. Then take a better position hiding behind tree, slowly switched fire on crumpled paper and throws it to the target area. Gotcha! The playhouse was all aflame. Wow! I thought it was like a scene from a movie. I would shouts pa noonsunog! Tulong, nasusunog po ang bahay-bahayan nila”.


Sigh, how I wish I could turn back time. At young age, I did these all with enthusiasm and out of knowledge by my parents. They used to get me in bed at noon which I hated most that time. What I did to escape was simple; I would deceit nanay by covering my hotdog pillow with the blanket. From that scene she would then assumed I was just beneath it fall asleep. Nonetheless she knew I was in the backyard na doing my own free will.

See? You seem I had a wonderful childhood memories of kindness just like any kid in town? Never was it. I would say that I was born to be a criminal. Yes. Never had I gave pity to all these humane and any other like creators that move and I’ve killed them. I would even love to reminisce it quite often especially burning playhouse.

Now, I wonder if I could not been sent to school for proper education. Then maybe just maybe, I could be a perfect murderer.

Friday, January 18, 2008

To all my girlfriends I’ve loved

I have nothing to put any words in this blog, just yet. I am still in the process of collecting thoughts from the many things that happened this past year. Reminiscing that is, looking back what I have done; good and bad. Admittedly, I am a slow learner person and as for you to know I wrote this about an hour. Wasting time and energy for me just to extracts juices of wisdom that isn’t so intellectual. After all, I am still trying to print this on.

But here I come when I think all of them…

All my girlfriends are now disappearing from my sight. The one, have decided to look for a greener pasture outside the real world. Some were separated from me into the other shift that adds up loneliness to my life. And the other was just expelled from me to think of her forever. How come I didn’t prepared myself nor thought before that is going to happen again and again. I was caught unguarded by this situation I fear most – be left out all alone. I have no one to blame but myself that is so weak and emotionally tolerated by their amorous presence. All of my girlfriends have yet nobody can replace the charm they all enthuses and enchants me almost daily.

There is nothing sweeter from the momentous we have all shared in one place.

That is why I dedicate this song:

(To All The Girls I’ve Loved Before by Julio Iglesias)

To all the girls I've loved before
Who traveled in and out my door
I'm glad they came along
And I dedicate this song
To all the girls I've loved before

To all the girls I once caressed
And may I say I've held the best
For helping me to grow
I owe a lot I know
To all the girls I've loved before

The winds of change are always blowing
And every time I try to stay
The winds of change continues blowing
And they just carry me away

To all the girls who shared my life
Who now are someone else's wives
I'm glad they came along
And I dedicate this song
To all the girls I've loved before

To all the girls who cared for me
Who filled my nights with ecstasy
They live within my heart
I'll always be a part
Of all the girls I've loved before

The winds of change are always blowing
And every time I try to stay
The winds of change continues blowing
And they just carry me away

To all the girls we've loved before
Who traveled in and out our door
We're glad they came along
And we dedicate this song
To all the girls we've loved before

For some lines that may not be appropriate, please ignore it. I was just carried away from the melody it brings and can’t help myself but to sentiment. Someday, somehow, I will find solace into the right person from all this emptiness I felt. I wonder where she is.